Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
