i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
