I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Randomize