I bet he comes in French.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
