Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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