Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
