We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
