If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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