Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
