i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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