You just made me feel so damn special
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
