Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
is it fun? or sober?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
