Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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