You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
its liver damage thursday
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
