I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
