Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
