He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize