Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I made him laugh his dick is mine
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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