i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
