Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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