Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
