I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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