This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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