We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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