If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
