Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
