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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I just got invited to go home with a married couple...

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• (516): View more from New York

  Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.

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• (831): View more from California

  oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life

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• (805): View more from California

  What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.

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