i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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