we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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