Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
As shirtless as possible
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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