hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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