i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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