I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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