so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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