I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
