So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
