There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize