Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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