did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I could fuck to npr.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
