I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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