i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
