if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
