I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
