Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
