We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
