I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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