She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
