well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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