im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
