I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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