She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
