Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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