You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
