i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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