VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
