you're like a bully in the Christmas story
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
