Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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