why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
