what day is it and did you see me today?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
