Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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