Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
