he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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