I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
