Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
